I’m done with the dating service! It kind of sucks that I met 20 men and nothing panned out. But then again, I’m completely fine with it. Right now I really don’t care. I think it’s still a tough way to meet people. You do have an opportunity to talk for an hour or longer. But you have to make the decision of whether or not you’d want to see them again in a relatively short period of time. That’s tough. Plus, it feels rather unnatural. They advertise that there’s no pressure. But I don’t think that’s true. A date is always a pressure packed situation.
If I could share some advice, I’d tell people to avoid the question about how long you’ve been using the service and what you think about it. From my experience, that’s an indicator that the date won’t go any further. If you’re really interested in the person, you’ll have enough to talk about and won’t have to resort to that one thing you have in common.
#20B had only been doing the service for a few months and had only been on a “handful” of dates. He probably hasn’t figured out that one yet. I don’t think I figured it out for awhile. Tonight, it was one of the first things that he asked me. Was I a turn off that quick? Maybe. We did talk for an hour and a half and he paid for my drink – which is not normally the way it works.
So what was my answer to the question? I certainly wasn’t going to say that he was my twentieth date and my last one. And I did leave out the part that I was having a mini celebration that it was over! So you wonder how I could have gone through that many? Here’s a summary of my 20 dates.
1. Chad – nice, but would fall into the “buddy” category. I was glad when he showed up, because some drunk guy at the bar was hitting on me while I was sitting there waiting.
2. Brad – great. Went out again, but I could tell he wouldn’t be calling me back. Maybe he could tell that I wasn’t a dog person when I met his.
3. Al – the A-hole. The worst date of all. He’s an ER doctor. I wish I knew where, because I’d avoid it like the plague. I felt like the service owed me an apology for that one.
4. Kevin – total sweetie of a guy – but must have gotten hit by a truck because he never called or emailed me back.
5. Aaron – fresh off of an office romance break up. And a Republican.
6. Craig – What were they thinking? I knew as I sat down that it would be a long night. I learned to trust my gut instincts on this date and how to avoid giving my contact info. Also – missing a finger. Once you notice it, it’s hard to not keep looking.
7. Callan – too much baggage. Had gone through major addiction and recovery. Needs another addict for a mate so they have that in common. (my opinion)
8. Eric – so uneventful that I hardly remember him.
9. Dan – happened to go to my high school, but the other campus. Nice but he started dating someone else at the time. Plus, I wasn’t super interested anyway. Lately I’ve seen his profile up on an internet site – so obviously it didn’t work for him either.
10. Dan (different one) – I learned about the pharmaceutical industry from a chemists standpoint. I could have fallen asleep while he talked about his job.
Here’s the point where I took a 6 month break. I started back up in October of 2007.
11. Tim – nothing special. On my way home I stopped and ate at a sushi bar by myself.
12. Lalit – interesting to talk to, but very different culturally.
13. Mike – funny guy, but not much in common with me. He thought I was great because I was his first date that didn’t ask him for a deal on a plasma TV. (He worked for a major electronics company.)
14. Greg – another teacher. Easy to talk to, but he had knee problems and had trouble walking. I’m not saying I’m in fantastic shape, but he wouldn’t be able to keep up with me on the simplest of hikes.
15. Ray – nice guy and interesting. Persistent. I figured out that Indian men (East not Native) just don’t do it for me. Plus, it’s really hard to have a phone conversation because you’re missing the visual cues.
16. Dennis – interesting, but had the unfortunate political conversation. Plus we ran into one of my least favorite people. I went through the Taco Bell drive-thru on my way home.
17. Tim – was so busy that it took a month to line up the date. Not worth the wait.
18. Paul – nice. Answered all of my questions with a short, “yes.” Lots of work to talk with this one. I met him for coffee another time to see if he was just nervous. Nope. Just another socially awkward engineer. He sent me the strangest email ever and I’m pretending it got lost in spam. Apparently that strategy is working for me.
19. Jeff – I’d rank him in the top three of the twenty. But he obviously wasn’t interested in me. “It was nice meeting you – I’m parked around the corner.” And off he went in a flash…
20B. Mike – interesting to talk to. I learned about Real Estate. Has joint custody of the dogs with his ex. Hmm… I think he was looking for someone flashier – if you know what I mean.
I don’t think I’d do it all over again. But I wouldn’t necessarily trade the experience. I did learn a lot about myself while doing this. But after twenty of them, I just don’t want to think about it anymore.