Letters of Recommendation

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to caution you on accepting Joe Smith to your program. Although he is a very nice, pleasant student, he needs to mature before moving onto higher education. I have known Joe for the past year as he has been in my math class. Often he comes ill prepared for class. He also performs poorly on tests. When given the opportunity to get extra help, it is not taken. I have very strong reservations on his ability to succeed in your program.

Sincerely,

Teacher with the Reality Check

You could never write or send a letter like this. Someone would probably sue you for bruising the ego of their kid. The thing that I don’t get is that the kid who does poorly in your class should know better than to ask for a letter of recommendation. But in this case, his parent is the one who doesn’t know any better.

Today I got an email from a parent asking me to write a letter of recommendation for her son. Her son passed my class by the skin of his teeth and I can’t honestly say that I think he deserved to pass. He certainly will not be able to pass an entrance exam for college that tests his high school math skills. To top it off, the letter is due April 1st. I respectfully declined to write the letter when I replied to the email.

I really don’t get it. This parent is one of the pair that spurred me to write my Bursting the Bubble post last December. The other parent basically tried to bully me at the time of the post. And they want me to write a letter of recommendation for their kid? Huh? What on earth do they think I’m going to write? Plus, if the kid needs a letter, the kid needs to ask.

I suppose the lesson here is to learn how to decline writing letters when you know you can’t write a good one. In most cases, the kid asking deserves a great letter and I am completely fine with writing one.

I won’t be around when the student has to fight his own battles and make it on his own. I really hope he can. But in the meantime, his parents sure aren’t helping him.