Student: Hi Ms M. How’s your baby?
Ms M: Hi, she’s great. But she’s 2 now.
Student: So is my son! He just had a birthday.
The student was on her way to lunch and disappeared around the corner to the lunch line. Ms M says, “Yea, we were pregnant at the same time.” The conversation continued with another teacher that had a similar experience. Now they have students asking about their children. But it’s in a totally weird context.
“My son started walking last week. Is your daughter walking yet?” This is what the student said to the teacher. There is something about this picture that no matter how long I teach and how many student pregnancies I witness, I can never reconcile.
Teen pregnancy has recently been in the spotlight because of the movie Juno. I thought the movie was great. But the part that doesn’t jive with my reality of seeing pregnant teens on a daily basis is how Juno gave her baby up for adoption. In my 11+ years of teaching, I’ve never seen a pregnant teen give the baby up. Some of them have a good family support system and can somehow make it work. But many do not.
I recently had a student drop my Pre Calculus class. She’s very bright. She could be one of the top students. But her attendance was horrible. Why? She didn’t have daycare for her son.
There is a fine line to walk between trying to be supportive but yet, not condoning the behavior. Last year, I decided that when I heard of one of my students having a child, I’d ask them if they had heard of Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE). If they hadn’t, I’d tell them about the program and how it helps parents learn about how their child develops, what to expect, how to be a good parent, and a host of other things. When I tell them about it, they’re very interested. But getting them to follow through and attend a class is the part that I haven’t figured out. I tried that with the girl that dropped my Pre Calc class (last year when she was in my Trigonometry class). She was very interested. But like I said, the follow through piece is the part that’s missing.
I don’t have any answers on how to deal with teen pregnancy. It’s a growing problem. The stigma of being a pregnant teen is not like it was twenty years ago. The Pro-Life people think that these kids will just give them up for adoption. But the reality is that they don’t. The cycle of teens having babies continues.
I don’t have any kids. But if I ever do, I’m afraid that I’ll be in the same situation as some of my colleagues who go through pregnancy at the same time as their students. It’s not something I ever really thought about. But now that I do… I remember the story of my own mother having to share a room at the hospital with one of her former students when she had me. So I guess, it’s not entirely new. But it happens way more often than it should.
